Why I got played.

look if you've ever had an uneasy
gut-wrenching feeling about your partner
while you're in a relationship with them
I would say that you understand what
Nuance
is at a basic level so that's your
intuition telling you that something
does not quite fit the picture here
something is wrong with this image your
brain is a pattern recognition system
and whenever you can see something is
just a little bit
off that's that's when you you can just
tell you can tell that's what your
intuition is telling you so for example
if your girlf girlfriend is looking at
her phone and just like laughing out of
nowhere you can you you've matched that
pattern to her you know being flirted
with or something uh I I've felt this
feeling in the past and I felt I mean
I've seen many worse situations I've
been literally been sitting across from
my ex like an ex-girlfriend um
probably I'm pretty sure she was like
Snapchatting her titties or something to
um whoever she was cheating on me with
and I mean now I know those things
but in th in those
situations it's very difficult to tell
so because I mean you're also thinking
am I being paranoid do I want to ruin
the trust uh in this Rel relationship um
based off of you know my paranoia I mean
there also there are also many times
where we think things
are just small details but they are
actually not so for example I thought
that this this girl also
um it's been so many years it's hard for
me to remember right now but I remember
I think within the first week of us
dating
she
like went hang out with her ex-boyfriend
and got completely sh faced and like
taking some kind of drugs and stuff was
just completely destroyed and I mean I
didn't see her till the next day
and I'm pretty sure something happened
but you know that's a huge red flag I
should have noticed in the first week of
dating
somebody but I mean because I was just
enamored
I swept this under the rug as just like
a small detail and
attributed it my my feelings about it to
paranoia
but into I I've read that I've heard
that intuition is something that
basically it's the accumulation of
millions of years of evolution
and basically these P these memories in
your DNA I I'm not sure how true this is
but it it kind of feels true with me
because there are a lot a lot of things
that I can I feel like I just Intuit it
and
um I end up you know working things out
through intuition and a lot of times my
intuition is
correct and I I think it goes hand inand
with Nuance
because a lot of times you should trust
your gut and A coping mechanism that I
found because sometimes your gut can be
wrong is that uh you can speak these
things out loud speak your gut feeling
out loud your those thoughts out loud
and this is another reason articulation
is so important even whenever whenever
you're just talking to yourself being
able to express the thoughts and
emotions that you're feeling at any
given time is so valuable um so for
example right um a a different situation
that I've had in the past but I mean
let's go with the example earlier if
your girlfriend is just sitting there
text texting somebody and she starts
giggling and smiling um nothing has
nothing to do with
you should is this a red flag should you
be paranoid should you
um I don't know Panic or
something just calm down take a deep
breath and then say it out
loud my girlfriend is text messaging and
giggling and
laughing does that sound so
bad no that's that doesn't sound
terrible at all
but let's
uh go with a different example so I this
is another story from my past um my ex
used to work S one of my exes used to
work super late and there were times
whenever you just sleep over at like
accidentally fall asleep at a male
co-worker's house or apartment
whatever
and I swear it under the rug I'm like
you know I just rationalize these things
you need to know your worth first of all
um whoever you're talking whoever I'm
talking to right now you you need to
know your worth if you don't feel
comfortable with the
situation no you you have every right to
leave and you should um you should not
live in a world where you're being gas
lit so in that situation I gaslit myself
into thinking you know that this is
totally
normal um and I mean hopefully you learn
from my past chump Hood chump this
whatever and can do better in your life
but that at that point that's not even a
Nuance like if I speak I spoke that out
loud to you that sounds fucking crazy
right
so yeah um these the the understanding
of your intuition and how how it goes
with uh how it goes hand inand with
Nuance is really really important in I
think maintaining a sane
relationship um especially there I mean
there are a lot of things that so Nuance
is also um it also incorporates like
body language I would say so body
language is not something that's
explicitly like something that's shouted
out to you you just have to notice these
things it's a very nuanced
concept um like for example I totally
messed up I I think I messed up my first
date with my wife we've been married U I
think almost like over actually over
seven years now
and on on our first date I just straight
up asked her to kiss me oh well no asked
her if I could kiss her so she's made
fun of me for that uh for years but
that's just a part of me not trusting my
intuition anymore and i' I've been able
to grow
to trust my intuition more and more uh
as I've been in like a safe relationship
and regaining self-esteem over the years
but you know that's something normally
you should be able to int it and see how
the nuances in her body language or his
body language that will let you know
that some physical activity is okay
okay all right so I think I I expressed
what I wanted to express today I'm
really trying to dig deep to see if
there's anything else I want to speak
about um this this thread is kind of
running dry
now so just bringing it back if you're
watching this series for the first time
um this is the second Worden series of
words and wisdom I really want to end up
being a good input into your life
especially vocabulary wise I really
think any anyone and everyone should be
articulate and be able to express their
thoughts and feelings whenever they want
to and not only is it a high value skill
where you can use it to basically sell
someone on anything you
should I I think it makes you much
happier whenever you can express
yourself um the way you want
to and I might sound repell repetitive
but that's part of the process here we
need to constantly express ourselves um
in a way that aligns with our values
um like often so I just use the filler I
I've been using the fill word a lot
today like it's really late tonight I
just watched Jake Paul uh and Logan and
I mean Jake Paul and U Mike Tyson fight
and it's pretty late but I figured I
would keep my promise to myself of
making a video every day um in order to
build credibility with myself so that's
another thing here um we want to be able
to to build credibility with ourselves
that's a hugely important concept and to
become articulate you need to be
consistent and practice expressing
yourself because the voices I mean I
might sound crazy but the voices in your
mind um they're not going to express
they're not going to express themselves
out loud um by themselves you have to be
able to pick and choose which one you
want to um let out at any given time and
that's I believe it's a muscle like
anything else uh maybe one day will
figure out what part of the brain does
this and there's probably studies out
there I have not looked into it that
deeply I just know that I've been doing
this for almost a month now and I can
speak halfway Co coherently for much
longer than I could before for example
I'm looking at the camera right now and
there's a timer and it's sitting at like
10 minutes right now I've been able to
speak halfway coherently for 10 minutes
and before this I would I I if you look
at my previous YouTube videos I'm
literally speaking for maybe 5 Seconds
at a time and I still have to do cut
after cut after cut I don't want to make
those cuts anymore that's a waste of my
time a waste of your time because I'm
the the people that are cutting the
videos hyper fast just giving you
constant trophamine they're basically
lying to you how I don't understand how
anyone can trust a content creator that
is just constantly cutting um in and out
and how do you try someone that can't
speak their mind coherently that's not a
genuine person if you're genuinely
speaking what you're thinking and um
things that are like true to you why
would you have such trouble um saying
those things I mean part of part of it
is that they're they lack articulation
and I think that also signals that that
person is not credible basically they
haven't done enough of the work to earn
my trust so I mean one person I've been
actually listening to a lot is is
penguin zero I don't I think his name is
Charlie he speaks very well and he
speaks very articulately and um he
doesn't do a lot of cuts it's very
relaxing to hear and also like it's it
it's easy to trust someone whenever they
can speak like that and and he can only
do that because he's been doing it for
years and years um I guess he used to
stream before uh he probably still does
stream but I really admire that kind of
um tenacity I guess and hopefully one
day I I can get to that point as well
and I'm hoping that I can help any I can
help you as well reach reach that point
or if not that level of articulacy um
influence you in a positive way so
that your language whenever you speak to
your co-workers or your family um comes
across as maybe more genuine and more
powerful as well so all right uh this
light is really blinding me now I I
normally don't go on for this long hope
I mean I'm aiming to maybe hit 30
minutes an hour of being able to speak
my mind and yeah I I think this is a
great milestone today so I'll see you
next time