Roasting first resume - software developer with No Exp critique, JS/HTML/CSS Portfolio Example

what's up code phonies are any of you
guys struggling to find your first job
as a developer I know it feels
impossible but it really isn't for a
little backstory I'm an IBM developer
with no degree and I've been in the
industry full time for about two years
now I didn't get my start at IBM I
started off at a local law firm and for
around 45 ke and I know that's not much
but you know that's you gotta start
somewhere so today I'm gonna show you my
initial resume and portfolio that landed
me my first job which I was over the
moon to get further disclaimer I do not
represent I mean that's so before we get
to the roasting I just want to suggest
that you watch to the end of the video
to learn how I actually got a job with
this terrible resume and portfolio so he
was my first resume trying to be a
developer after quitting college the
only thing I've edited here is the phone
number and email and address so I mean
you guys can probably find that stuff
anyway but you know whatever
this is move on to employment I have my
only job here as head sushi chef there's
more but I just wanted to keep it simple
because I didn't have anything relevant
anyway so I might as well just put the
best one I guess and I actually did this
for a lot longer but this was at the
most recent restaurant so here I have my
education I will graduate high school I
dropped out of LSU and I also dropped
out of BRCC but at this time I didn't
know if I was gonna go back or not and I
mean I say expected December of 2018 but
I knew at that point that I wasn't going
to get it at the end of 2018 and first
impression this as someone who's like
hired developers before this is very
short and I mean there's nothing really
relevant and I just it seems like if you
look at the skills he
I guess I just thought it was a good
idea to throw in every technological
term that more technology that I had
ever used
well actually notice here I even have a
typo I'm it it just says knowledge agile
development so I mean clearly I didn't
proofread this and also that I know for
a fact that I didn't know anything about
agile development at that point in time
for the law firm local law firm that did
hire me this probably sounded like I
knew a lot of stuff where I was claiming
that I knew a lot of things and even in
the interview they actually asked me to
pull out my portfolio which I was fully
ready to do which we're gonna go over
next so I give this resume a three out
of ten only because out of like ever has
I've checked out a lot of other resumes
and I've seen worse to be honest but I
mean it's definitely not it's definitely
below average for sure because I at
least named some technologies and some
relic relevant like languages it's just
that I don't have the degree and I have
no prior experience also also I didn't
it seemed really plain you know it's not
very eye-catching but it it's not
terrible okay I've seen some really
really bad resumes where people just I
don't know it's just like they're
writing a letter or like they don't they
don't try to try to play themselves up
at all they don't try to sell themselves
at all so we're gonna move over to my
portfolio site now as you can see I
didn't even have a domain and I mean it
looks okay I haven't seen this in a long
time and still looks pretty clean I
don't like this picture in the middle
right here with the little paragraph fun
fact I had like no pictures of myself
that were recent so I just threw in my
wedding picture
full-stack developer was practical
experience in web development and
javascript for an object-oriented
background fully devoted to the craft of
code so I sound like a trihard for sure
I'm cringing like that was very cringy
as I read that so I'm never gonna use
that phrase again wow this contact form
is terrible it should not take up that
hole in the whole page like that okay I
mean the footer looks okay I just think
I did anything guess not so let's see
these projects still work okay so this
is one of the portfolio pieces that I
shows them I guess the API doesn't work
anymore for the quotes but it's supposed
to change color and have a new quote
each time I click the button
they just glanced over that one and the
weather app okay this isn't
Minster I'm not using any kind of VPN so
I don't know why it says that they
thought that was okay you know getting
someone's location was pretty cool for
them this is my Wikipedia viewer there's
supposed to be a big Wikipedia picture
up here I guess that's gone see if I'm
on here oh that's a random Wikipedia
page see if I can just press Enter No so
I guess I hard-coded the negative margin
value up here okay and see this
this API doesn't work anymore and
there's not even a fifth one here okay
all right I mean that's pretty cheap but
it just go it links to that section
overall it I would give this portfolio
site now looking back struttin maybe
from like an objective one of you I
would give it a three it's pretty crappy
it doesn't really tell the user anything
about me other than I'm a full stack so
supposedly this right this paragraph
right here when I have these crappy
projects that I literally just just used
my projects on free code camp to
populate this and what really impressed
the the law firm was this other site
that I made for as a freelance job as
MSG unless you got edu and it was just a
WordPress website but I mean they were
just impressed that I had a live web
site I guess and also I have this page
where I show I custom code coded this in
HTML and CSS it's just a table of the
professors or the X professors I think
they're all retired now so how did I
even get a job with this crappy resume
and portfolio well I mean I did get
really lucky and you know what they say
how luck is the intersection of
opportunity and preparation well I feel
like I kind of hit that intersection
I've been studying all night every night
for months on end at that point and I
was just said I just said screw it I'm
just gonna apply to every job that I can
find I went onto the recruiter and I
found this really ambiguous listing that
was for web developer I applied and
there
other people in you know in the rot
their roster that they were interviewing
but I was cheap and also I had I mean
they didn't really know what they were
looking for and I was able to like
persuade them that I could do what they
wanted what they needed so that's how I
got my first job as a developer outside
of the service industry so if you're
bored just check out one of these other
videos here and if you like this video
you want to see more like it please hit
that like and subscribe button I really
appreciate it by the way to address the
people that would rather starve then
take the pay that I did for my first job
as the developer for a little context my
job before that I was making thirty six
thousand a year as a sushi sushi chef
and I mean I was willing to take
anything outside of the restaurant
industry in the way I see it my skills
didn't really measure up to like 100 K
even 60 K at that point so I'm just
working my way there so this is a pony
out see you guys later peace