My sister saved me after heartbreak (what nobody tells you about healing)

if you've never experienced extreme pain
or heartache I'm happy for
you but I want to prepare you for the
eventuality of that happening we all
live lives where pain and heartache is
possible and lurking around every corner
pretty much in my experience um probably
the lowest low of my life was whenever I
was with I was in in an abusive
relationship and I was cheated on
multiple times uh just just mental abuse
I would say and when it ended it was a
really bad time for me
because I I just wasn't very mature
emotionally not saying that I am now but
definitely not back
then and how this ties into the concept
of resiliency that we're talking about
this
week and I hope to save you a lot of
pain in the future or at least alleviate
it a little bit uh and in order to to do
that I want to tell you the story of how
that happened and how I dealt with it
pretty
much
so the second time that I was cheated on
by this uh girl that that I was
dating I found out uh I did
some I guess things that I'm not proud
of I looked at her text messages it was
actually I saw her MacBook was open saw
some messages that popped up on there I
got super suspicious so I ended up then
looking through her phone never going to
make that mistake again the the concept
of you you will find what you look
you're looking for is probably one of
the most powerful everyone does shady
things every now and then no one's
completely moral you're if you're
looking for something bad you're going
to find it and in this case I found
something really bad uh she was sleeping
with one of her co-workers it was
obvious at the time she was sleeping
over at this dude's house I mean I knew
about this he lived right next to her
work and it it was in a pizza shop so
they were just all some I guess
degenerate college kids at the
time so after this I didn't really know
what to do right I had built my life
around this girl and it that was a
mistake in its own I left my friend's
apartment whenever I was living with
them I went to live with this girl uh we
lived in a two-bedroom apartment and
uh she just trashed the place
her she was a very disgusting person and
the place was just filthy uh she brought
a dog in shhot
everywhere at at a certain point like
she stopped living there and I was let
like she but she left her dog there so
it would just be full of sometimes
uh and we had cats as well so it was
just oh my it was
disgusting yeah um eventually event I
was able to move out with and live with
my sister she was gracious enough to
allow me to live in her two-bedroom
apartment and I I took the the second
bedroom
and this highlights the importance of
having loved ones in your life people
who are there for you uh so in this case
it was family I think family even though
I don't have the best relationship with
all of my family the people that do
accept me for the autistic person as
person that I am um I really appreciate
it because I mean I can be difficult to
handle some sometimes difficult to deal
with sometimes because I I just say
things as they come out and
um I I wanted to make this video mostly
because I got some of these cookies from
my sister and it really reminded me of
the times when she was I mean she's
always been there for me even though um
I grew up as a bully to her pretty much
a huge and then I guess I
chilled out as time moved on there was
not I mean when you grow up you you
realize there's not any reason to be
mean to your siblings unless I guess you
never grow up then you you can continue
that
behavior but yeah so she made I I lived
with her during that time
and I ate one of these cookies that she
made it was a lemon cookie and I
remember seeing her face whenever I said
this tasted so
good and I could tell that she like
internalized it and since then she's
always made these cookies and she always
even though I've moved across the
country she sent me a whole bag of these
cookies uh for me and my kids to eat and
I think it's really sweet and
also it reminds me of how our
connections with people really add to
our resilience our ability to spring
back into whatever shape we want to be
so basically so we can get back on track
to um achieving what we want to
achieve if I were to go through this if
I were to go through that process
alone that I think that would have been
a much different outcome um I mean
definitely I I was like I said immature
thought of taking my own life um it was
an embarrassing time right I it it's not
something that you really want to
advertise to the world it's not
something thing I mean it's not like I
did but it's one of those things that
you internalize and think why me first
of all um then what did I do wrong if if
you've reach that stuff actually some
people get stuck in the Y me phase and
that's the worst because then you have
no agency and you have no ability to
spring back you you are you have lost
your resiliency completely because
without agency you can't spring back to
get back on on
track and uh yeah I was lucky enough to
have the thought of eventually have the
thoughts of what did I do wrong here and
I I think that's the crucial next step
in recovering from a situation like this
and once you can figure out that there
are things that you can do differently
then you can actually take action on
those
things and um and move on pretty much
continue dating whatever um continue
whatever you need to do to get to where
you want to go in
life so yeah um that's all I've got for
you today so I'll see you next time