Dating history from 14-27 as a dork. (Full vid)

thanks for clicking on this video I
really do appreciate it and in return
I'm going to tell you the story or the
history of my entire dating life from
whenever I started puberty pretty much
14 or 15 years old to when I got married
at 27 so yes I'm married right now with
two kids
and the reason I want to make this video
uh there's a few reasons first of all uh
this this channel is called father fee I
want this to be pretty much a vehicle
for me to speak to my kids in the future
in case I'm no longer here hopefully
that'll give him some comfort secondary
goal here I want to become as articulate
as humanly possible and uh this is my
practice third I want to be a good input
into your life as that way I feel like
I'm providing value to the world and
that's I think an example I want to
provide to my kids to as like a role
model kind of thing that providing value
to the world will like first and
foremost
will pretty much get you what you want
in
life and I want to prove that by
providing as much value as I can um as
earnestly as I can throughout my life so
that they can they can see this and you
know see perhaps emulate this in the
future all right so let's let's get to
it uh in order to talk about my dating
history I think I need to talk about
some context first let's talk about my
stats stat-wise uh I am my height is 5'8
uh maybe 5'9 if I'm it's a good morning
my weight 160 pounds is it's pretty much
been stable at that for a few years I
whenever I started this journey
obviously I was probably 80 or 90 pounds
in uh ninth
grade um what else brown eyes black hair
Asian uh I was born in America in
Louisiana actually so in the South what
else yeah so body count 6.5 of we'll get
to
that uh yeah so let's wind back to clock
and start at whenever I was 14 years old
these are my pretty much first real
romantic thoughts I guess I was talking
to this girl let's call her in and we
lived pretty nearby each other in the
same
neighborhood and we got to talking and
over the course of the year of my
freshman year and she was in eighth
grade I developed feelings for her and
then the next year when she came to the
school I did continue to talk to her and
we definitely hit it off oneon-one
but pretty much our only time together
other than a few occasional like alter
class swapping
instances we stood in the same friend
group like this kind of friend
Circle and I don't know why what
possessed me to do this but every single
day when we would stand in this friend
Circle I would she would be standing
right next to me obviously waiting now
that like thinking back obviously she
was waiting for me to speak to her um or
say anything to her you know but I was
just completely silent the whole time I
was very shy especially around uh my
friends and
this maybe I I've grown out of this I
I'm more callous now I don't really have
these like shy feelings anymore don't
really have much shame but back then it
was very much a problem and this led to
her eventually take she got the message
and she said she didn't really speak to
me about this she was actually she was
mad at me I think um
for misleading her pretty much and she
started dating one of my friends at the
time so the lesson here was that I need
I I thought I needed to be a little bit
more
bold and that led to the embarrassment
of the the next venture here uh have it
written down so let's call this one C
she was in my class and this oh my God
this is so embarrassing so this was
still during Myspace days we would I
would message people on MySpace and I
would oh my God just post comments on
this girl's Myspace page shout declaring
my love for her like every day basically
and it was the most cringe than I I hope
all this stuff is deleted from the
internet because it is it is really
really
embarrassing stuff just like the the
most cringe you can can think of um yeah
I I don't have exact examples in mind
but just if you could imagine a cringe
uh love quote or whatever I I would
imagine that I said
that all right so next we're going to
talk
about um let's call her H this is my
first I would say real
girlfriend uh the way I met this girl
was I was working at the movie theater
at the time uh it was in the local AMC
in in the town
and my uh reaction to the previous
embarr the previous embarrassment I was
talking about was kind of like a
reversal I eventually did figure out
that I was being super cringe and then I
kind of did like a correction where I
was trying to be this super cool guy and
I was having competitions with my
co-workers uh who can get the most pH
girls phone numbers in a shift so all
the girls that would come in I would
just I
mean I would just ask them for their
phone number so this girl literally all
right so immediate red flag I asked this
girl for her number while she was with
her boyfriend and both her and her
friend gave me their
numbers and eventually I ended up I mean
I messaged both of them and I hit kind
of hit it off with this uh with h and we
started dating and and like that lasted
for about a year I did learn a lot there
um because I mean we experimented a
little bit and stuff for the first time
uh we didn't get past really like SE
first base or whatever but yeah it was
it was a good time for me I guess then
afterwards uh dealing with my first like
breakup the the Heartbreak stuff going
through that stage uh it I mean it
sucked but you you recover from it and
uh come back stronger hopefully in your
case as
well so next let's
see oh man all right so after this I got
my first experience with the friend zone
so this was super cringe I'm sorry to my
best friend of the time but I really had
a crush on his girlfriend and
after they broke up I mean I still
continued being her friend and obviously
I had different U motivations there I
wanted to be more than friends with her
and eventually like after the breakup
with with the H girl I was like oh I
have to confess to this girl that I feel
this certain certain way about her I
literally told her that I loved her
which uh super
cringe but yeah so that friendship ended
up just fizzling pretty much after that
because there was always this weird
dynamic there uh I don't feel that way
about her anymore uh that quickly I
quickly realized that was a mistake
pretty much with I guess within six
months after that because I was pretty
pretty distraught immediately after
obviously I wasn't aware of these things
at the
time so after that I kind of
just went on this I guess ho phase where
I was on Myspace and just messaging a
bunch of uh girls from all around the
the state pretty much because I I was
given the opportun the chance to drive I
got my own my first car and I ended up
kind of like in the high school sense
like hooking up with a few of these
girls but that they didn't really go I
didn't really go past like making out
with them or anything so after that
little phase um I
was invited to a birthday party where I
met uh
Kay so K
was a friend's relative and we hit it
off at this birthday party and I ended
up dating her for a few months and I
mean I feel really bad about this
because this is when I started becoming
more jaded about
relationships and I really treated her
really
badly and I regret that but I mean the
past is the past and I can't really do
anything about that I have apologized
can't I mean an apology isn't going
going to really make things better there
but uh yeah I from that point on I
I after I began to realize that I
regretted that scenar that situation I
did treat the girls in the future with
more respect
which um moves uh gets me
to my next long-term girlfriend so K I
was with k for about 3 four months and
then uh this next girl C I was with her
for uh I think about two
years and I mean I I say I respected
girls a bit more but because of the
distance here with uh with c
she lived closer to my hometown and I
was in uh the college town that I was
going to for I was living in for college
and I mean I I neglected her a bit I
would say I would yeah I would say but I
I think I did from my perspective treat
her
well but it ended up being that I oh
sorry oh yeah ended up being that I
didn't I I was feeling paranoid because
she was doing things that were making me
feel like I had this bad gut feeling so
for
example she was going on these like 3:00
a.m. um newspaper runs to deliver
newspapers with her guy
friend so I mean I still won't would
honestly I would not feel comfortable
with my partner doing that right now but
back then I I raised this concern
and pretty much I was told that I was
being paranoid
and that I should trust
her so I let it Brew for a few weeks and
then I eventually broke up with her over
this
because I that it just crossed a
boundary for me so this is my first time
actually breaking up with somebody
and I mean if it felt good and bad
because I was able to do something
difficult
but also bad because I lost my
girlfriend at the
time and uh let's
see after this I did meet a few other
girls from college and we didn't really
do anything but we went on a few dates
but eventually um I was just hanging out
with my friends
and I got lonely again so I hit up my ex
C and we started dating again
and this time within a few months like
it was like a honeymoon period where I
was we were really into each other but
then it was revealed that like through a
an anonymous message from some third
party they told me that she was smashing
some other guy behind my
back I was I was very mad and yeah we
broke up that night and it was me it was
pretty messy after that for a few for a
couple months but I no longer spoke to
her after that
so then that leads me to my uh next
long-term
relationship I've spoken about this girl
before I think and just from the get-go
red flags back to back
she uh was basic like yeah just Dr a lot
of partying
and doing things that would I be what I
consider now as boundary Crossing for
example within the first week of us
dating I guess which is I mean a weird
concept now that I think about it being
official and stuff like that but yeah so
within the first week of us like
officially dating or whatever
she was still hanging out with her ex
and she also spoke about her ex she had
multiple male friends that were like I
was I wasn't me paranoid they were
clearly um they clearly wanted to do
things with her like she even told me
that they had done things in the past
but she was still friends with them so
there were all these red flags from my
perspective and I just ignored them and
uh I just dated this girl for multiple
years I think it was two or three years
and we were on and off too and
eventually obviously she cheated on me
twice um I don't don't don't ask me
right now how it's twice maybe I can go
into that a little bit deeper in the
future as I said before this won't be
the first time I'm talking about this
not going to be the last time but it is
the first time that I'm talking about
these things in in quick
succession so um this is my second
experience or technically third
experience with um being cheated on and
so at this point I was very
insecure and I did not think very highly
of myself my self-esteem was at pretty
much rock bottom
and but I mean I I was still looking for
a partner like the one of the themes
here is that I guess I was always
looking for someone to spend my time
with I don't really like even though I
like my alone time I like building
something with somebody that's just how
I
am and whenever I met this next girl who
eventually became my wife um one of the
things I noticed was I mean she was
first of all she was kind to me and she
I felt
like the the I guess victim of the
Michelangelo effect so the Michelangelo
effect is whenever someone sees
something better in you that you that
other people don't even
see um my pre previous relationships
they all devolved into me like into
degeneracy pretty much and this is the
first relationship that I had pretty
much that was um where we were building
something better each day and I think I
mean that's ultimately what ended up
getting me to to marry her
and yeah I mean life has just been on an
upward trajectory since then so having a
good woman with you with you by your
side who doesn't always agree with you
and pushes you to your limits I think
is just a great Dynamic to have
especially as a young man um around the
age of like
25ish because 25 to 30 is a super
crucial time in a young man's life
and having someone to help you help prop
you up to get you there even
though I mean you still have to do the
work
but it it's easier sharing that load
with somebody building that life with
somebody so yeah um if you have any
questions let me know in the comments
below and I got to go pick up my son so
I'll talk you talk to you later